#bc they're meant to look like all genders ( as they do here ) while also having no actual gender

[skele-bunny]

I seen you share this post and I know you're comfortable writing these things, so I was wondering if we could have little snippets or maybe a fic elaborating on when you wrote about Dew punching someone for fat shaming Aether? Thanks!! https://www.tumblr.com/skele-bunny/759611991374643200?source=share

Word! Also you're right wjsjdj I don't mind writing these things at all. I'm perfectly fine with getting requests to tackle heavier topics 💪 context: this post by @mutt-sys

CW - FATPHOBIA, RACISM, PARENTAL DISCRIMINATION, ABLEISM, VICTIM BLAMING, TRANSPHOBIA, ACEPHOBIA

Cowbell has experienced acephobia before. Ghouls are sexual driven creatures, there's no way a ghoul is asexual! She's had to deal with crude remarks, "You just haven't met the right person!" // "It's just a phase you'll grow out of." , which also meant unwanted advances. Sometimes it gets to the point she thinks she's broken. That something really is wrong with him.

A multitude of both ghouls and siblings have had to work around ableism. Zephyr simply being denied into places like the bathhouse, outings with their pack as they simple didn't have wheelchair accessibility. Delta being denied accessibility services because he wasn't "blind enough." Pebble fighting for MONTHS to get his hearing aids. Phantom not being accommodated as "We've seen autistic people before. You don't act like that." or just "You? I would've never guessed! You don't look autistic!"

And yeah! Just like in that little hc post, Aether, Cumulus, Omega, Alpha, Ifrit, basically any bigger ghoul has absolutely received fatphobia on a daily basis wether it's subtle or outright. Getting grimaces, especially if they work in the hospital. Bc they're deemed "unhealthy" so why should they work in a "healthy" setting? Omega getting an annoyed sighs from the wardrobe siblings "Guess we need another size up..." Cumulus being deemed unattractive because of her weight, her height, basically anything about her was unattractive. Unlovable.

Even Terzo faced discrimination. Constantly misgendered and deadnamed even after being publicly out, always feeling his face warm up and heart stop as he's deadnamed in front of someone who only knew him as Terzo. But forced to bare it and grin as if he even tries standing up for himself he's "Sensitive" or "Over reacting" and given just annoyed sighs and eye rolls. Sunshine and Cirrus getting scoffed at and slurs thrown at them for entering women's sections of say the bathhouse or changing room at the gym. Constantly being reported (that doesn't go anywhere) but passively aggressively suggested to use the gender neutral rooms instead, which just makes them more upset.

Mist experiencing discrimination with her kits! One of them starts fussing and annoyed whispers of "I wish there were child free places"//"Does that baby have to be here?"//"Great, just what I wanted. A screaming kit." At first he was able to stand up for himself and curse them out but after so many times... It's hard to not let it get to you. Just softly crying and getting frustrated at not only himself but her kits :/. Unable to go back to work as they don't want someone "wrapped up with kits who's unreliable."

(Based on my own and my partners experiences.*)

Ghouls facing issues as they're learning a new language, just broken and choppy but doing their best to try and communicate. Always gets those fake smiles as they turn to a ghoul that been around longer "Could you translate for them?" Or even speaking to them like a child. "What is YOURRR naammee?" Just outright ignored if they try to get someone's attention bc that person doesn't want to 'struggle' with trying to understand even tho they're not even attempting.

Swiss having to learn to do his own hair and more styles as the stylists didn't know how to even work with his hair type. They just shaved it and he was MORTIFIED. Always labeled as aggressive by passer-byers and being followed around in stores while Dew is left alone and even approached with friendly service. Being stopped twice and accused of shoplifting and trying to defend himself only to, once again, be marked as aggressive and hostile.

Dew terrified to come out about anything he experienced bc he's heard the whispers about other people coming out. "Well what did she do to deserve it?"//"He must've led her on."//"That's what happens when you drink!" So he just stays quiet and never speaks up about anything, just forced to deal with it on his own even after he confided in Aether and Mountain as he's scared they think that of him.

Shit SUCKS. While there have been improvements through the years, unions, changes made with each Papa, it doesn't always stop it. Unfortunately, discrimination will always be around. 🫠

[uhgood-girl]

i have dealt with a lot of grief, already, throughout my not very long life and yet i remain surprised by all of the different shades of it i still find myself experiencing for the first time.

processing the final members leaving today feels like a large, deep bruise i was ignoring but can no longer pretend isn't there, so purple it's almost black.

i wasn't expecting this level of emptiness? how it already feels like a long, dark corridor in a once full house that should give back an answer when you shout and yet only your own voice echoes between the doors.

maybe that sounds melodramatic, i know i don't know these people irl but i know other army get it when i say the amount of comfort bts provide as this steady, background hum in the trudge of daily life cannot be understated. just knowing they're out there, existing, together, maybe making more amazing music, pursuing their own forms of existential happiness is really grounding. it's inspiring. those are my long distance besties, i don't give a parasocial fuck.

so in contrast, knowing they have been fully removed from that individual pursuit, forced into a mandatory conscription to appease a government who they don't personally seem to agree with and who also would happily expend them for it's own gain feels like thorns. like knives. like an unwanted reminder of our helplessness in the knowledge that even the best and brightest of us are not exempt from the bullshit powers that be's whims while they look at all of us like pawns on a chessboard. low value and consumable.

for me right now, it's honestly just boiling down not to the fact that they're gone necessarily, if they were on a vacation of their own choosing, i would happily wait however long, but that they've been forced to leave. you can for sure keep any tirade of "it's an honor to serve, they always planned to do so, blah blah blah" to yourself too because their intrisinc loyalty and integrity does not make the system as a whole less fucked up.

bc mandatory military enlistment is fucked up. the military industrial complex is FUCKED UP. if you are sad today but also not a little bit angry at the system that has gotten us here, and i'm talking look past the blue house, the color you're searching for is white, i hope you can find a little bit of space at some point for some healthy indignation.

tweet. (not me, i just like and agree with it)

it feels better than grief and sure as hell mobilizes better, but per usual, i digress.

the grief is still insistent.

i cried when jimin took off his beanie in that live this morning. he had already said he didn't want to show us and yet the comments were full of people demanding he do so. ultimately the decision was his and i respect what he chose. i also hope he found some comfort in the flood of comments calling him cute and beautiful but it still broke my heart knowing what hair to someone like him (self expressed gender fluid, likely queer), how much of your identity can be wrapped up in it, probably meant. how it probably feels representative of this larger thing he is not eager to do as a whole.

hell, the idea of namjoon having to pick up a gun and point it at a person shaped target, edges not eroded but sharp and distinct, breaks my fucking heart.

i could go on for each of them individually tbh but i don't want to add to anything you may have not already considered, we don't all have to be victims to my imagination here.

i just need the world to not blow up between now and 2025. i'm begging. or even after that, really. what if we lived a few years in precedented times? is that even possible at this stage?

is this our monkey's paw? you get to live at the same time as bts but you're also gonna experience the (deserved, burn it down) collapse of the colonial empire? good luck!

i don't even know how to end this, i just needed to get some of it out. my biggest comfort in all of this right now is knowing there are people taking this just as well as i am at least. and by well i mean not very well at all, obviously lol. misery does love company, it's true. but i think because much like seokjin's views on embarrassment, it's easier to bear when shared.

and yet, please just step over my sad, fetal position body till i can get it together. i'm gonna need a moment, or ten. go on, i'll catch up.

[krys-loves-otome]

OC Ship Chart!

It's taken me a few days and I'm probably only gonna do these three, but I've finally finished the ship meme Mo (@xxsycamore / @kissmetwicekissmedeadly) created!

Forewarning that I forgot to add in some emoji options and I can never remember MBTI types so I just put idk for all of them as I was too lazy to look them up (nor am I interested in learning them, sorry!).

Picrew for the girlies from here!

-Suitor ages are not confirmed in ikesen (or really in many otome games) so I just gave Mitsunari a ballpark, while also making him the same age as Houki. I think it's cuter that way.

-Sexualities are also not explicitly stated, but you can pry my ace spectrum headcanons for Mitsunari from my cold, dead hands.

-I don't think IkeSen has representative animals, so I just put cat because both of them have had cats as pets at one point or another.

-I am pretty sure that IkeSen does have flowers that represent the suitors, but the only ones I can remember offhand are Hideyoshi (sunflowers), Mitsuhide (bellflowers), and Nobunaga (spider lilies, but not 100% on that one). Daisies was picked at random (and they are in that above cg, so that's why Mitsun gets daisies)

------

-20cm would be about 7-8 inches (Vincent's 5'9 compared to Abby's 5'1)

-Who knows how old the ikevamp suitors are when Comte pulls them into 19th Century Paris, but I have done some light research on the Van Gogh brothers and know that there's roughly four years between Theo and Vincent, so I just did an estimate for Theo's age and added on 4 years. That's my logic and I'm sticking to it.

-For the life of me, I couldn't think of any nicknames Abby would call Vincent. Not that there's anything wrong with that, sometimes the most romantic thing is being called by name in a certain tone that's enough to get someone riled up!

-I see Vincent as not caring much about gender presentation, so long as he can paint the person he likes and they're nice, he's happy with whoever his partner is. I can also see him being at least a lil curious with Shakespeare because of this.

-Same as Mitsunari, I put his representative animal as his pet bc I didn't have any better ideas, lol

-Also can't remember specifically when the first kiss happens in his route, but Vincent's route is fairly smooth sailing in the first three quarters, so I'm putting in towards middle bc I can't remember specifically when they kiss first, so I'm putting it towards the middle as a conservative guess.

-MC didn't really get kidnapped as much in Vincent's route that I can specifically remember (save for the ending where she's time-napped (?), but this reading is fairly accurate.

-Vincent is still learning about his emotions, so allowing himself to experience romantic love is gonna take a while, like all his other emotions. For Abby, she's just got low self-esteem so sometimes doesn't feel like she's worthy of love at first.

-Abby can decently cook, that makes her the more responsible adult in the relationship, lol

-Vincent brushing Leonardo's hand off of Abby's head lives rent-free in my mind and I'll forever feel a certain way about that scene.

-Vincent defies time laws to get back to his true love, so he's rebelling against the system in that way.

----

This is cheating since this was meant for Cybird's IkeSeries games, but it's Miri's birthday in a few days and I just wanted to add her and Lucifer too, and that's reason enough for me!

-Obey Me boys don't have canon heights (yet, as of this posting), but my heart is set on Lucifer being over 6 feet tall (180cm ish), so that's where I'm putting him.

-10M here stands for 10 million years. Luci is a demon (formally an angel) so he's got some eons on him. Very much an old man if there was one, lol

-All Obey Me Suitors are pansexual by default because the MC has no set gender and the suitors will love them no matter their gender presentation because of this. Still waiting on Thirteen to be dateable so that she can flirt with my girlie properly tho.

-The Peacock animal representation is canon. As is a sheep for the MC, as they are often shown with a sheep in their icons in chats.

-Debated back and forth with their representative flowers, esp with Lucifer between roses and spider lilies, and ultimately went with the spider lilies cause I liked the metaphor tied to them better for Luci.

-Lucifer is more than ready to put his loved ones before himself to make sure they are safe and happy, as he's proven time and time again.

-He's also emotionally constipated sometimes, thus why Miri realizes it's love faster than he does, lol.

-Luci is very much the responsible adult as Miri is constantly pulled into shenanigans with his younger brothers.

-Listen, the jealousy thing? He has to fight for Miri's attention between his six brothers, his boss, his boss's butler, his former angel comrades, and her a shady sorcerer. Can't he hold her for just a few moments? Sheesh..

-The whole reason Lucifer is a demon in the first place is because he rebelled against the system in the name of love and Miri would actively fight God because of what Lucifer and the others went through if she could.

-Miri literally wouldn't exist without Lucifer's rebellion. He rebelled to try and save his sister, who was an angel too, but she gets reincarnated as a human who became Miri's ancestor, so�� yeah, Miri wouldn't exist if Lucifer hadn't rebelled in the name of love.

[general-george-washington]

So, red in cats in sex linked, meaning it's on the x chromosome. So, males only need one copy in order to be red while females need two copies. Red females aren't uncommon but it's about 1:2 ratio female to male

And red cats are, for lack of better terms, referred to as himbos. Orange cat behavior is that they're brainless, loveable etc etc. I've also seen people who say that it's only the males that are lovable idiots, females have attitude

On the flip side, bc males are only capable of being one color (black or red) the overwhelming majority of tortoiseshells are female. And they have tortitude. To quote my mom, they are bitches. There are exceptions, however, such as chimeras and intersex cats which can have penises.

Coloration does not equal personality. That is a lie brought to life bc over 90% of cats have no pedigree thus most do not have breeds. In dogs, good breeding equates personality (and cat breeds too) but unlike dogs, which even as mutts are some sort of breed these cats are just landraces. Thus, stereotypes around coloration arose

How one interacts with their cat does have some influence on their personality. It's not everything however, if your cat swipes at you it's "oh she has tortitude!" And the reason that cat swiped isn't addressed as it might be in a cat of a different color. Red cats having zoomies is orange cat brainless behavior, even though all cats are capable of having zoomies. It's just a stereotype is being told and thus you assume it and when the cat adheres to it, it confirms that its orange/tortoiseshell behavior

I also know so many more people that like boy cats more than girl cats which, is meant here as altered males. When a tom is altered, their personality and looks change. They don't smell bad anymore, it often times prevents spraying, and the cat isn't a runner anymore. All of these makes toms unpleasant to be around for most people. They also look more female bc their stud jowls either shrink or don't form

The difference between a fixed and unfixed molly is that she doesn't go into heat. There is no personality change

Cats don't have genders and their personalities do not adhere to color. Esp in landraces personalities vary greatly. It's damn weird that we stereotype them and the way it's done is misogynistic

I think the way we talk about cats, esp with regards to orange cats vs tortoiseshells is rooted in misogyny

[thefatecrate]

Demiservant Time... again!!

yahoo pt 2! I am more rested at the time of writing this so hopefully I can tone down the shenanigans hehe

again, infodump-y information on them is below the cut!

yay Hypnos!! another divine spirit hehe!! a lot of these clothing choices are based on clothes I actually have (besides that last one, which is based off a painting of him!) Poppies are mostly associated with him, but I put in some lavender and valerian because they're other typically sleep-related plants! The blue streak in his hair is for Greek valerian, which I believe is a type of hyacinth? I tried to pull design inspiration from his statues and stuff, the circle symbol was one thing I found when looking up symbols of Hypnos, and since it's one of the simpler ones I found it's what I used there hehe :-] his pillowcase is also meant to be evocative of Nyx, his mother!

True Name: Hypnos (might be one of those Servants that originally shows up as "Caster of ___" but idk what he'd be caster of kagjkadfhg) Height: 5'8" / 173 cm (when not floating)

Origin: Greek Pantheon

Alignment: Neutral Good

Gender: [?!], uses he/him

Rarity: 4* Servant (has a more established divinity than Leinth)

He's another kinda spacey Servant, but less so than Leinth and more drowsy than anything! Very sleepy guy hehe, in his first two forms he attacks a lot with use of his pillow bcs I think that's a cute idea, and in his final he moves away from that and uses more of his caster-esque attacks hehe! Like he can still do them in the first two, like in an extra attack he'd use them, but he prefers to chuck the pillow he's got while he has it <33 He's a bit less laser-focused in battle, he'll give quips and maybe show off a little to his Master if he feels like it, but he tries not to let that go too far into carelessness. He's not one for belittling an opponent or getting too cocky, but he sometimes. Doesn't take everything as seriously as he maybe should asjgnasfjkgna

He's fairly affectionate, I think, and pretty responsible! He'd get along well with some of the other "older brother-type" Servants, though he's not one to really fuss over his Master he'd definitely play co-op games with you and take naps with you! (Sometimes forcefully, by passing out on your shoulder or smth hehe)

I think he'd have lines for a lot of the greek Servants! Like, for Trojan servants there'd be an awkward "uh oh, hey no hard feelings, okay? Hera's a really hard lady to say no to!" and generally apologetic hehe where for other greek servants, he'd have some "ah, so you're who I ended up helping! Ha, maybe that lady knew what she was doing after all!" which i mean hey. technically it was just bcs she was mad at paris but don't tell him that.

It's hard to read the image text, so I'll copy it down here!

Summon: "Hm? Oh, good morning! Divine spirit Hypnos, Caster.

Ascension 1: "[yawn] hm, how refreshing... Huh? Of course this is an important step! Trust the process, Master!"

Ascension 2 (not pictured): "Yep, yep, almost done... patience, Master, patience!"

Ascension 3: "Now we're getting somewhere! I told you to trust my process! Remember, it never hurts to get a little extra sleep."

Ascension 4 (also not pictured): "Ah, I'm tired... Hey, Master, come take a break with me. I'll tell you a bedtime story! Haha, a nice young man lent me a copy of the Iliad, so I don't have to remember it all! Sit down, sit down, I'll read it to you."

^(he cannot read the story for very long bcs he passes out </3)

I know I want one of his skills to be decreasing an enemy's crit rate/def, and a medium chance to affect all enemies with stun, but beyond that <3 i do not know <33 I do wanna draw the ascension 4 piece tho i have an idea for that in mind already!

[c0rpsedemon]

@mythologeekwriter thanks for asking! i've been saving this comment since [checks notes] monday morning bc i realized the difference between madeleine my bestie madeleine and gawaine the med lit fandom's specialest little boy was that one was a teenage girl and the other.... wasn't, and wanted to take some time to separate her from her arthurian predecessor.

n e ways, to get the things taken from gawaine arthuriana out of the way: she was raised by pirates, she has magical sun powers that makes her get stronger the closer it is to noon, she has a habit of stealing attention from whoever the focus character is meant to be, she has a fuckton of siblings, she shares a birthday (may 1) with her youngest sibling of the same gender, she has a horse named gringolet, she fights dragons, she's the shortest character in the lineup (not counting literal children), (she thinks) she can flirt her way out of almost anything, and she's really good at violence.

it's worth noting that while her gringolet craves violence just as much as the original gringolet, they aren't the same horse bc maddie's gringolet is a mare and also looks like a gen 3 my little pony. that last one is both bc i think it'd be funny but also bc of the doll line gimmick i've got here.

idk where her cheerleader motif came from but it's staying. she's captain of the not!camelot cheer team. she didn't really try out she just walked up, flashed a smile and was immediately appointed captain.

to understand how her smile works you have to watch any of the eah webisodes with daring charming in it.

she has that gawaine thing of not introducing herself unless asked, even if the person she's talking to is going on about how much they want to duel her bc of [insert disrespectful thing she could've done here] going for her. the difference though is that she will introduce herself, specifically, she'll introduce herself as maddie.

while she is coming for frankie monsterhigh's crown of "most love interests in a doll companion series," she does have a main love interest and that's eve who's based on bertilak/the green knight. lady bertilak straight up doesn't exist bc i couldn't fit her in and ragnelle i just can't figure out.

that being said, she and my ysabelle-based-character are besties and also penpals and also maybe exes but they never really dated but they did but they didn't but they never broke up.

the main difference between her and gawaine arthurian is that she's not in love with her lancelot (adelaide). that being said, they've been best friends since kindergarten.

also she straight up walks into the underworld whenever she wants to see her mom and grandma and baby brother. this is vaguely based on that one bit of perceval.

she has a pet fox named renard who's actually based on roges. he's watsonianly named for renard fabliau who's a pop culture icon in my oc world. doylistically, he's also named for renard fabliau bc i think i'm funny. (explanation of the gawaine/renard thing here)

no but renard madeleinespetfox is a very good and polite fox and nothing like his namesake.

she fights with her sisters over everything. there's no scheming in the not!orkney household, just a lot of bickering.

no one's really sure how her and christine (arthur) are related tbh, but they're presumably cousins.

she didn't go from trying to obey all the laws of chivalry and upholding her honor above all to doing whatever the fuck she wants and getting away with it like gawaine, she's just always been like this.

[the-satellite]

Hello friends and welcome to ☆Hateful Nostalgia☆. I was exposed to the mob talker mod WAY too young bc I was an unsupervised child on the internet watching mod showcases and SkyDoesMinecraft. Looking back these sucked, the stories were often bland and the designs were milk toast at best and tits out at worst. So for the sake of procrastinating on working on anything substantial I grabbed the main 6 I remembered and gussied em up. Redesigns, rewrites, better names, all that bullshit. If your interested in better photos, design notes, story details and rambling hit the basement, otherwise here's a line up you should click for better quality.

Also I wrote all this once before already but I deleted it like a dumb bitch. On the night Unus Annus was murdered in front of my eyes no less. Was a rough fuckin night.

The Creeper- Kupa. An explosive pyromaniac with a habit of making empty threats and yelling. She protects what she believes to be her territory with a suicidal passion, but if you manage to get her to cool down and soften up she's pretty sick to hand out with. Hard of hearing, has at least one bout of head trauma at all times, and deathly allergic to cats.

Because the creeper is kinda the og I wanted to reference AT2's design more than the others, but I'm p sure the only thing I actually kept was the red hair and brown gloves. Otherwise I was doing whatever. I really wanted to lean into the explody bit of creepers, so I gave her some bite and dressed her in clothes referenced from Irish railroad workers. This may also be why I keep imaging her with a very heavy Irish or Scottish accent, whichever would be most incomprehensible when angry. Every color but her skin was color picked from one of the references, with some minor alterations for makes my eyes happy reasons.

With Kupa I imagine a story line with her would largely be about her as a character and her development than like an actual adventure narrative like everyone else. She starts off ready to blow up both you and herself in a misguided attempt to defend what she sees as her's and opens up and learns not everyone is out to get her. Lots of time taken to understand her childhood and how she ended up how she is. Very simple, probably the default or tutorial run people would go through.

The Zombie- Bee. The ill husk of a missing explorer suffering from a less than conventional appetite. She wallows in her self imposed loneliness, believing herself to be an irredeemable monster doomed to hurt those around her. What she really needs is a buddy and some clue to who she used to be. Rough voiced, chronically fatigued, and prone to spontaneous combustion in sunlight.

 I definitely consider this one the weakest for design sadly. I imagined Zombies as humans who went into strange caves and caverns and didn't come out for years, only to pop up as completely different people. I just tossed AT2's design. The first thing I did was make her a bit of a genderbent Steve and tinted her green bc Zombies in game are just Steve but green. Tore up her clothes, colored picked the darkest colors I could from the clothes on the in game and boom, Bee. I do vaguely regret not making her eyes pure black but I also still wanted her to be human enough to fit with the other overworld mods.

 Ok so Bee actually has a basic story. When you meet her she's aggressive, but as a warning. She fears the possibility she may hurt somebody so heads for threats immediately. Going back and forth between her cave and village for a while you learn more about the situation with the missing folks who come back and Bee as a person. After a bit you pick her up off her depressed ass and start a nocturnal adventure of refinding your past, adapting to who your becoming, overcoming self destuction, and slow burn babey!!! 

The Skeleton- Ulna. One of the few surviving warriors of a now destroyed kingdom and dead culture. She spends most of her time now traveling alone, hiding in trees and shooting anything see sees as a threat- which is everything- in the face with homemade arrows. Very much suffering from loss of her home and a bad case of lost purpose. A woman of few words, very antisocial, and naturally nocturnal.

 I came in with the Skeleton wanting to make her seem mysterious, so my first thought was immediately a cloak and a mask, but I wanted her face to like be visible so I went with the face paint. I didn't actually know that I wanted to do under there so I went with wraps that are reminiscent of the original outfit but still not tits out bc it's so fucking easy! Gave her a quiver, color picked the cloak and face paint from the in game model and the wraps from AT2'S art. I did like. Subconsciously draw her eyes the way I do Asian characters but I didn't have anything specific in mind so like go nuts with what you think she is.

 Ulna's deal is very much her lack of purpose or home and the entire thing is about finding that again. She's found sitting up in a tree during a storm pointing a bow and arrow into your face. She eventually let's you stick around until the storm is over and theres some bonding into deep night until the rain stops. You ask if she wants to come with on your little travelling sword for hire business, she says sure, sleep schedule shenanigans, backstory angst, and road trip bonding happens and she eventually decides that helping people is her new purpose and you're her new home

The Spider- Park. A young adult experiencing the world for the first time through her tribe's rite of passage. She's really just trying to figure out how to live life outside of the cave she's been stuck in her entire life and aggressively trying to be an independent adult despite not knowing anything about being an independent adult. Its projection. Blind in the daylight, naive and excitable, and taken to refusing help at her own risk.

 Ok so. I don't know who looked at the spider and said "purple haired loli with puffy pants" so I once again yeeted the whole thing, only really keeping the kinda cutesy and childish bits. Spiders are a tribe of humans what live in caves unless they've broken off to live on the surface. Kids are kept inside until they hit a certain milestone, where they come up to explore at night. They're usually small and pale, but are pretty kickass when necessary. Again picked the colors off the in game model, played with the lightest gray for the skin, and bc I couldn't figure out anyway to use the stripes so they're on the patches lol.

 Park's meeting is probably the funniest and most meet cute one here, in that she accidentally drops on top of you from a little cliff drop off. Cue loads of apologies and an explanation about the spider deal and being blind in light. She asks for some help getting around and bam babey friendship and emotional attachment! What follows is kinda a buddy of coming of age story with the obligatory goes home and is miserable scene. Generally it's just about being a scared young adult and having someone to fall back on and why that's important. Also crushes and young people being bad at that.

 The Blaze- Amber. A demonic entity who would let the world burn and the sun die if it meant she'd get her soul back. She's known for being ruthless, taking souls through force instead of making deals like other Blazes. Keeps this forceful nature even once she's become friendly, makes you do dump shit. Territorial, eyes glow and dim with her life, and runs remarkably warm.

 Amber here is the first one I actually did! I was just. Really tired that she was in a bikini. I decided early on I wanted overworld mobs to be human and everyone else was decidedly not, so Blazes are demons who gave up their souls under false pretenses to other Blazes. Because of how little clothes AT2's design wore I had essentially free reign and my thought was immediately to lean on golden knight bc of how Blazes are found protecting fortresses. The gold isn't picked from anything bc I was looser with the colors, but everything else is, and the hair is supposed to represent the smoke. Also the sticks in her hair are blaze rods bc I don't like them just floating around her.

Amber is found in the Nether obviously, protecting a fortress and immediately trying beat your ass and either incinerate you or make you give up your soul. During you prove yourself a p damn good fighter and she makes a deal to show you how Blazes exist and pursade you to give your soul up willingly. Bonding happens and she explains where the souls go and what happened to her. Insert line about how she dug in the sand for her soul until her fingers bleed bc I'm an Arcana freak lol. In general I'd just like her to learn to adapt to who she is now and learning to live life well instead of letting her anger burn her up from the inside out.

 The Enderman- Violet. A confused but sweet young bit of void created by and connected to the Ender Dragon. Her relationship with reality is tenuous at best and abusive at worst, making stable existence rather difficult. She doesn't know a name, age, gender, anything about herself aside from that she likes sweaters. Communicates primarily through psychic connections, docile and sweet, and melts like a witch in water.

 Violet was incredibly easy, so this may be way short. Endermen are decidedly human shaped void from the End with varying sentience. They're direct extensions of the Ender Dragon, and nobody knows how they're made or where they come from, not even they do. Adventurers who escaped The End say they seem scared of it though. Violet in particular is pretty damn new and extraordinary nonconforming, and I tried to show that with her sweater and ponytail. Once again, literally all colors picked. Definitely the simplest but one of my favs.

Violet is the sweetest meet up I think. As your traveling between villages you notice a strange enderman watching you and plant a little flower in front of her. She picks it and you hear a happy little trill come from you and a pretty voice say thank you in your head. Now you have a tall dark teleporting travel buddy! After a little bit of back and forth she tells you in some broken English that the Ender Dragon made her but she doesnt know how, and that it's bad and needs to be killed for the sake of Endermen and that's the new goal. Spoiler they're the corrupted souls of those that died fighting it, with it gone Endermen are free to exist as their own being and do whatever, hurray!

[the-luckiest-guy-thanks-to-you]

I'm doing the shady thing of screenshot bc they don't feel like engaging with anything but their own thought, and honestly I totally get where they're coming from but while in a way it makes a lot of sense, a lot of non-binary people aren't comfortable considering themselves trans even though they are thoroughly aware that the white line in the trans flag is for non-binary identities.

I also want to say that this isn't posted on a personal hang up of mine like the note says, but I literally live in a theme house that only has one or two cis people any given year, I have multiple years running a college GSA, done coming out day events, co-sponsored drag events, etc. I also more recently have been leaving more towards considering myself non-binary and trans than I have in the last year. I can name people by the dozens who are nonbinary but not comfortable with being called trans.

I also want to explain a bit about this now that that's out of the way. I'm not gonna go over their semi-ignorance of others experiences, but I want to bring up a better way of getting ideas like this across.

1) people can identify however they want to, you cannot assert an identity on them (including "if it's an adjective" if they don't like it)

2) instead of looking at it like "X people are trans" instead "trans people can be X" can be much better. Instead of being pedantic rather than listen to how people actually feel, it shows acceptance should they want to identify that way without putting them in a box

3) "but technically they do fit in the box!" I hear the ghost of someone in the comments shouting. And yeah, they might, but also there's agender people who don't feel like they "cross a gender boundary" and aren't comfortable, there's demi-gender people who don't fully relate to their gender but still identify as nonbinary, and other cases where sure, they could consider themselves trans, but that is up to them.

4) there's also hairy discussions of what gender is in a given context and how it changes and it's cultural and how masculinity and what it means to be a man or femininity and womanhood can be related to in totally different ways and how someone identifies may change with their culture and stuff. Gender is fake in the first place, so defining it as "not cis", while it in many ways makes a lot of sense, isn't actually a great definition in a practical real-life-and-interacting-with-people sense as much as a basic oh-this-is-a-basic-principle/rule-of-thumb-for-understanding sense.

Also like the way we talk about it will change over time(remember how we used to use the word transexual and now it's borderline a slur? Language isn't the same for everyone and it changes, there's countries that proudly use a rough translation of transvestite which is a big no no here in the states), the way different people define the word trans will change with who you ask, so locking it down like this is really limiting too

This is unnecessarily long but I just want to throw this out there in hopes for more critical engagement, and hopefully if someone disagrees, they'll do it in an actual conversational way

Also, I will say, in agreement with lobster's post: transmeds do not interact, we don't need bigotry and stuff here or elitism or any of that and those are terrible arguments and v bad

Also to the one person who called me out for using "nb" for non-binary despite it's other use as "non-black", I will try to be clearer in the future, but also I'm just guessing that that's what you're referring to because you didn't actually provide information to help so I just had to try to figure it out on my own and turns out, you really gotta dig for it. Nb means non-binary, nota bene, noodle boy, no bother, and "niu bi" which is Chinese, all more popularly than that it seems, and you really gotta purposely try to misread the post specially since it's meant non-binary since the 2000s but if I see a good alternative, I'll try to use it or be more clear in the future

Edit: for the linguistic side of things and changing of meaning I want to add another example that may get my point across better. Think of what it means to be trans 80 or so years ago, if you were trans, it mostly means you were in the binary, just on the opposite side than your sex. It didn't really include non-binary genders like it does today so the meaning has changed. My point is you can't stick to a hard and fast definition for the sake of "I am right and gender is organized by technicalities" because there's so much more to that and it limits how we talk about these things

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

okay I know it seems like I'm shitposting here and I am, but... I'm also not.

as a trans person I'm finding the online world increasingly stressful to navigate (the real world continues to be exactly as stressful as it always was, but online was MEANT to be better). it feels like everywhere I look there's outrage and violence and the only stories people seem interested in telling about people like me are full of violence of the variety that specifically happens because they're trans (so none of this "well everyone in this book suffers").

and like. I would get it, if they were trans authors. I have written books like that myself, as an act of catharsis, as an act of processing all the bullshit fuckery of this world. I have read books by trans authors that explore transphobia and left me sobbing and hollowed out and yet still felt like a reclamation and an act of validation because ultimately they were about a trans character facing down violence and surviving, not being narratively punished for the act of daring to be trans in a story that didn't want them.

and sometimes, you know, the differences are subtle. there's no checklist: this is okay to write, this isn't, cis people can say x but not y. but there's just something underlying about those stories where you can TELL if the person who wrote them is writing as an act of personal catharsis, digging deep into their own fears and experiences, or if they're doing it as a tearjerker/because they think that's genuinely what all trans narratives are like. and after a while you start to believe that it is, because that fucks you up, never getting to see stories where you just exist. or even just getting to see stories where the violence you face isn't for character development, it's a shitty obstacle that you move past. I'm not even asking for happy stories at this point. I just don't want the crux and turning point of my life to be how others choose to degrade me.

and if it's not shitty ya fiction it's terfs in academia unwilling to find a modicum of human decency, writing letters about how outraged they are about the idea of *gasp* using somebody's correct pronouns. and it's replies on twitter to people who call this out, telling us we're delusional and wrong. and it's queer discourse and exclusionists and everyone who ever makes you doubt if you're even allowed to have community and support. and it's ex-friends where you're never sure why they cut you off but you think it's something to do with your relationship to queerness vs theirs and you know you're better off without someone who thinks you're not "queer" enough when every goddamn day of your life is a battle bc you don't adequately perform gender to anyone's standards, but you still kinda miss them and you wish there was a way you could fix this.

and then you go out into the real world and it's a two year wait for an initial appointment at the GIC and god knows how many years after that before surgery is on the table, and it's being asked why you're in one set of public toilets even while you know you'd never pass well enough to use the other, and it's your family continuing to call you by gendered terms and the wrong pronouns (and being GRATEFUL for that because at least they didn't kick you out or yell at you and you learn to be happy with such small crumbs when you see your friends starving), and it's being terrified every time you go somewhere new because you don't know whether to come out or not, and it's taking off your pronoun pin when you take the bus home, and it's lying on forms you can't fill in honestly and being given a title that isn't yours and answering to the wrong name and endless bureaucratic violence

and I'm just

so goddamn TIRED

and it feels like every time I'm online a weight just settles heavier on my chest, the world screaming at me to stop existing like this. all I want is to exist. all I want is to feel safe. but I'm never safe, because I don't adequately Do Gender the way you want me to do gender. I can be mistaken for a boy and then for a girl, five minutes apart in the same outfit and context, and I have no idea what "gender signals" I'm giving out to give people that impression, so I don't even know what I'd have to do to consistently appear as one thing or another. I can't hide! I can't be anything other than visibly queer! and I want to CELEBRATE that because that's always what I wanted, to be difficult to put in a box, yet these days all I can think about is how dangerous it is, how easily it could be used against me

the world is so much better than it was five years ago. the world is exactly as bad as it was five years ago. the world is more aware of people like me and that means there are more people who know enough about me to hate me.

I am so tired of being afraid.

I am so tired of murdering myself a little every day to avoid it all. of that endless self-violence of swallowing pronouns and names and corrections, of taking off my badges or walking a different route, of deciding CONSTANTLY "this isn't worth the fight we'd have about it", because I know that it doesn't matter what I say, it's never going to change the attitudes of the people around me: it will only make me unsafe.

I'm so tired.

and so, at this point, I just want to lie down in a bog and let it have me. because there's no discourse in the bog. no terfs in the bog. just a stubborn fuck you refusal to disappear: you want my body gone, but my body will STILL BE HERE. my self will still be here. I refuse to decompose under your hatred, to shed my skin and let my bones crumble away until I become what you want me to become. years after your bigotry loses its power, I'll have stuck around. wrinkled, maybe, and tougher than before, but this bog body ain't rotting.

fuck terfs. bog mummies say TRANS RIGHTS

[franken-mailman]

I was losing my mind at work today. Maybe bc it was my first shift alone back since I was sick. That's only missing one shift but maybe it messed up my groove. I was so antsy and I couldn't stay in one place and I was feeling a foreboding vibe and I didn't start on dishes or anything to do with closing [except for watering down our drip coffee] until after official closing hours. I qm afraid of doing things wrong. And I never remember to ask the questions I have when I am given that opportunity. I feel stupid for it. I'm writing down my questions now. I worry every time I close now that I'm alone and I don't bother masking my reactions to things. Basically I'm scared of my boss finding out I'm mentally ill. I'm sure they've hired many mentally ill people before. I'm worried they will worry I'm not trustworthy or that whatever I've got going on will interfere with my work. I cannot continue like I think everyone there is out to get me. The owners come by Sundays when I work sometimes. They look like normal people I know they are probably normal more normal than my own mother who was in the same profession, rhe same world as them. They tell me they're glad to have me on. Everyone at work is so nice. I don't know why i feel like it's a ploy against me or a trap. I think I actually feel the feeling of not knowing people, a group of close knit people who work together. And feeling like the outsiders. I feel like every conversation that I hear is one I'm not supposed to be eavesdropping in on. I don't think it's eavesdropping if they can fucking see you standing there doing fuck all or working the register. I'm known to lurk and skulk and I don't mean to. Somehow I don't mean to anymore. Maybe it's years of being told I'm loud as when I was trying to be stealthy. Being told that I've got a heavy step, a clumsy body. I don't know how I got so quiet. I accidently sneak up on my coworkers now. I can't ever find words. Maybe I'm intimidated. I love steph tho. She asked me my pronouns bc she called me 'boy' like boy please. It felt so validating but she was worried she invalidated me. [I think I'm riding the androgynous line very well right now] i told her that like yeah pronouns matter very much but I don't really care about like gendered affectations like girrrl or boyyy. She told me that she calls her husband 'girl!' She's so right for that. Then she was like "YEAH! gender is like not real anyways" you may judge her choice of words but I know what what she meant.

Anyways.

I hope none of my customers heard me growling to myself. I hope my pacing wasn't obvious [it was so hard not to break into speed pacing bc behind the counter is the perfect length for pacing] I'm sure the customers saw my hand flaps and shakes and my head shakes. But it's like. I'm so proud of myself. And I'm feeling like loving myself. Work Me is someone I can can see as someone separate from normal me or at least right now that's how I'm thinking about it. I'm picturing me from the customers pov your coffer is taking a while to get made. The barista behind the counter is violently shaking his head and shimmying his shoulders. Of course. Like every customer I've ever had, you think I am a woman. OK actually only other butches are allowed to call me ma'am. But I have no idea why she did. She was cute tho. She was with a cute femme I think they were on a study date. What freaked me out later was this elementary school teacher who came in with two firemen. They were having conversation I thought they knew eachother. Apparently they didn't. She starts talking to me like intensely. Like how long have I been here what do I do I tell her about my ta job probably too much like where I work but in my defense she did ask me where. But she also used to have a position where I'm going to work this summer. She asks me what I really do or something like that and I tell her I'm an artist she asks me what my medium is. I tell her I do everything. It's kind of true. I do everything I know how to do. I tell her it's about theology and my research. I can't help myself. The conversation that ensued might have been involved but it wasn't concerning. What freaked me out was when she asked me what one of the fireman's names was. If I could look at a receipt and see if his name was there. I didn't think that it actually would have that info but I checked anyways bc how was I gonna get out of that. I don't think barista-customer confidentiality exists. But legitmately I had the thought, "oh, I really don't want to be part of a Netflix original true crime documentary about this lady." I told her that info didn't transfer as I was looking at his name. I'm a really good liar. I'm glad I didn't wear my glasses. I wonder if that's what encountering a demon feels like*. [*I make art about demons being the same as angels, but I think I make them the good guys. Flesh instead of power. But I think I need to accept that they are not of this dimension. Cenobytes and angels from the heavens, all interdimensional beings.] I think that's why I was so on edge. It was a foreboding feeling on top of my anxiety. And my paranoia. I chanted to myself for at least one songs length. I don't trust nobody. It devolved into. "Ion trust nobody" the more I said it over and over again under my breath.